Why "The Psychedelic Professor"?

In 2018 I decided I had had enough. My marriage was falling apart, I didn't feel safe in my community, I didn't have a full-time job, and I was continents apart from the people that I loved the most. What I had been doing up to that point in my life was no longer working for me; my 20s and 30s were full of travel, change, and adventure. But I was in my 40s now. It was time to get serious.

I started reading Michael Pollan's How to Change Your Mind, which outlines his exploration of psychedelic substances for self-improvement. Having experimented with LSD, "magic" mushrooms, and other psychedelics in high school and college and having experienced the slow-but-tangible benefits of traditional talk therapy, I could see how therapy enhanced by psychedelic substances might result in more expedient, lasting results. From where I was sitting, there wasn't much to lose except some clearly outworn beliefs, habits, and ways of relating that were not leading to the life of my dreams.

Like a good little academic, I did my research. I followed the citations from Pollan's book, began reading up on psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy and engaging in the literature of the current "psychedelic renaissance". I used my scant resources to fund a serious course of psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy with a trained, trusted coach who followed clinical protocols.

I did not "wake up" or change overnight - apparently there really is no cure for a broken heart except time - but it was, as others have noted, like doing 20 years of talk therapy in 3 months. I could see patterns of relating (not where I expected), better understood how my behavior affected others, and where I was betraying myself. In short, psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy helped me grow up and wake up.

Over the past few years, I have worked hard on my psycho-spiritual development through therapy, mystical experimentation in a range of modalities, daily yoga and meditation, reading, courses and workshops, podcasts, discussions with religious leaders, prayer, and all sorts of activities that I'm probably forgetting to list. For me, this work has led to subtle shifts that subsequently lead to a profound difference in my inner life, relationships, physical health, relationships, work, and contentment.

And here we are...

“Over the years I’ve learned that a surefooted and confident mapmaker does not a swift traveler make. I stumble and fall, and I constantly find myself needing to change course…It’s not an easy journey from excruciating to exquisite, but for me it’s been worth every step.” – Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage

I'm here now, a tenure-track professor making peace with what is, tuning in to my own inner truths, with a new humility, stronger boundaries, an ability to meet my own needs, and a mission to love unconditionally. I'm still getting it wrong, still struggling to stay mindful and compassionate, still undoing my people-pleasing conditioning and examining the relationship between victimhood and entitlement.

This blog chronicles my attempts, stumbles, insights, corrections, successes, and probably even more failures as I work to apply my learning to my teaching practice and other roles in higher education. I hope that something I write might spark a tiny fire in you that leads to a small change that leads to a bigger change, that inspires someone else...and so on.

Why "the psychedelic professor"? Because psychedelics raise consciousness, reveal what we cannot see from our current perspective, can be challenging (you've heard of a "bad trip"), and can also be a whole lot of fun...kind of like higher education. And because "Daily Work to Be a Better Person and Teacher" probably isn't a blog you'd read...so, here we are. The Psychedelic Professor.

I'm ready to let my freak flag fly; to be vulnerable and humble; to be honest about my values; to meet my own needs; to challenge my own beliefs; to love unconditionally; to set boundaries; and liberate myself so that I can empower and inspire others. Are you?